Krizzlybear

“You really shouldn’t have had that much to drink.”

This was my buddy from somewhere. I think high school or some other equivalent.

“You crossed the line tonight.” my best friend, Ty, crossed his arms in disgust as he looked over me as I puked into a random bush. It was probably mine, but I don’t think I would have been able to remember it. I could only feel the brisk cool 4am air caressing the insides of my windbreaker.

I wiped some stuff off my mouth and smiled a cheeky grin back at Jay. I was nowhere close to coming up with the proper retort. I could try to say something witty, but I would end up partway between drug-induced insight and nonsensical drivel, but I tried anyway. Any effort would draw attention away from the pain of my knees against the sidewalk pavement.

“I’ll have whatever I want thank you very much mom something.”

I was the last person likely to become a poet laureate.

Ty picked me up and slung my arm over his shoulders, and we hobbled back towards wherever I would end up tonight. I was hours away from home, and somewhere down the line, I assumed that Jay’s place was but a short walk away. It was anything but.

“You totally made an ass of yourself, Char.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” I said, shoving him away from me. I tripped over myself as soon as I separated myself from the support that I had. I scraped my hand as I fell, but getting back up, I wiped the bleeding off on the ass of my jeans. It was nothing, really. “My name is Charles, thank you very much.”

“You got us both kicked out of that party, Char.” Ty handed me a tissue for my hand.

“FFFuck you. You could have stayed.” I spat something at the ground. I couldn’t even make Ty’s figure in front of me, though I could still maintain some semblance of a towering figure in front of me.

I don’t know how dark 4am tends to be, but it was pretty fucking dark, and I could have had an opportunity to drink another before the blue of day had come out. Ty could have stayed at that party. He could have. So why did he leave with me?”

“You’re hopeless, Charles.” Ty grabbed my wrist, and his gaze pierced through the blur of my vision, right to the core of my heterosexual soul.

“Is this one of those romantic moments or something?” I puckered up, since it felt like such a brokeback moment. It happens.

Ty shoved me away. I think I may have fell onto the grass of someone’s yard. I don’t know.

“You’re so fucking drunk.” He wiped his hands on his jeans, as to carefully not get anything on his pristine leather jacket. “I should just leave you here. I could pick you up again in the morning.”

“I may be drunk,” I said, guffawing like an idiot, “but you’re the tsundere right now. Had we actually made out, you’d be the shy uke and shit. It would be hilarious.”

Ty walked away, leaving me on the lawn of some guy’s house. The sun would come up soon, but his silhouette against the twilight was a sight to behold, at least by inebriated standards.

“Thanks, man.” I said, and I passed out right there. It was the greatest party ever.

“I stared at the toast sitting on my plate at the breakfast table, and wondered if it was physically possible to dangle it from my mouth if I ran to school with it; the thought was brushed off as I turned on my DVR to record the latest episode of Galactic Angel Sorceress Azusa.”